The conflict within

We would never know what will happen to us in the future. We thought that we will never change. When time past us by, we often don't realized but we changed.

Through this blog, I can see my changes. Year to year, I've changed from a carefree guy to a critical minded and at this time, struggling or I may say , desperate. Being the leader of the family can sometimes be cruel. You have to choose your way to survive. Your way to earn more for your family. Your sacrifice for your family.

I've missed a lot of opportunity. Missed lots of opportunity because of empty promises. Promises that I thought can lead me to a good life. But I was wrong. Wrong to accept all the promises in the first place without thinking about the future. Wrong because I should have follow my instinct that I can't believe them all. Now, I've learn not to believe any promises and not to make any.

Furthering my study is my last resort. It is because with this current economy, I know my family couldn't survive. I just don't want to be just like this. I want our life to be improved. Our kid must have a brighter future. If I just can do this opportunity online just like this online it degree, maybe it will be easier for me. But then, sacrifice must be made.

Maybe if I took this online it degree, I can get a degree and get better salary. One thing for sure, I just don't have the money to do it anymore. But...

Sometimes, we must do anything so that others will survive.

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