Happy New Year 2011

It's like a custom for me to include a song from Dan Fogelberg for the last post of the year.. A song that always in my mind when each year are at it's end. Reminding me the whole year on what I achieved, what I did, whom I met and the forgiveness I've asked. Regrets are not my things since I always accept the way God have planned to me.

2010 will always in my mind as towards the end of the year, I've choose to walk different path. 2011 will be a truly new chapter for me and my family. But as the songs that hopefully you will have some time to view it, some memory are too hard to be forgotten.

Happy New Year 2011 for you, and please take care of yourself. Enjoy the last day of 2010.

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Welcoming 2011

Gonna tell you the truth, 2011 will be a year where I dreaded the most. My computer will turn 3 years and soon, I need replacement for some of the parts that surely breakdown in due time. In my experience, electronics things will break down soon after they turn three. Last time, I'm using Asus technologies. Now it is Gigabyte.

It is also my fault because I never shut down my computer because computer is the main communication mode for us. While we did shut down it everyday when we are away last time, but switching it on and off for 10 15 times a day are not a good practice. When I realize this, now my computer runs 24/7. Only being shut down when we are away more than 8 hours.

Do you switch off yours every time you don't to use it? How dependent are your life with computer today?

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Last things on my mind

I really think that this problems will never ends. It is about the Red Proton that we changed the engine to 4G61T 2-3 years ago. How I wish that we can just order the spare parts on as easy as ordering briggs and stratton parts.

To be honest to you, my father already thinking about selling the car off since the problem that have been plaguing us for more than one year. The problem that we have is, the car will have this 'jerking' symptom a week after went out from the workshop. Then it will become worst after that. We already try to do all that we can, changing things that might be the one causing that problem but to our dismay, it still persist.

Maybe it is time for us to let go of it. Or worst, we just get another engine to fit in to it. Maybe...

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Blessed Christmas 2010 and a Happy New Year 2011

This update would be the last update that I will post up inside RX Enterprise office on this three years old table of mine. The only lucky lad to have a table of his own.

Today would be the last day I'm here and will be on a new path next year. Yes, I've resign my post here and will be unemployed until given notice. :P

I would like to say, Thank You, to my boss and all colleagues for your 5 years of friendship and cooperation. I have tons of sweet memory with you. Traveling around the whole Sabah, all the East Malaysia trips, the marvelous dinner and makan-makan that we have and those things and evens that I forgot to mention here.

Wishing you all, including my reader, a Blessed Christmas 2010 and Happy New Year of 2011.

P/s: If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?

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The meaning of sacrifice

Took all the necessary things since 2 weeks ago and now, I will embarking a new life journey in five day. Looking back to 5 years ago, there is a lots of up and down in my life while I'm with them. And it makes me wonder why they didn't stop me from leaving. Maybe the warning that "rock the whole ship" the other day were really meant for me? Or is it due to happen in anytime sooner for the rest of us.

What ever it is, every one have their own sacrifice. And this is one of it. From me. I would like to put a long excerpt that I read on my old friend's blog, Mas Jaffri, also quoted from his grandfather :

My grandfather told me something this Aidilfitri, which to this day left a great deal of comprehension;

"Setiap orang ada pengorbanan dia yang tersendiri. Ini (menuntut ilmu di perantauan) pengorbanan awak, bukan pengorbanan orang lain. Jadi dugaan inilah yang akan paling bermakna buat awak, kerana hanya awak sahaja yang kenal erti pengorbanan ini."

[Everyone has their own sacrifices to make (in life). This (being overseas) is yours; not anothers'. Therefore only you would benefit the most from this experience, for only you understand the true meaning of this sacrifice (that you have chosen).]

In life, there are times at which we are put into situations against our favor, and where the very appraisal and notion of options do not inherently exist. When this happens, a choice subtly becomes a sacrifice. When sacrifices are being made, their outcome would not always imbue to our liking, but we confer them not because it is a choice that we want - but it is a choice which is the most appropriate within reason.

When a husband takes the day off to cater to all the wishes of his sick wife - he is making a sacrifice.

When a wife races to prepare dinner on the table even after a long day at work, just so that her husband could have a decent meal - she is making a sacrifice.

When a brother decides to skip going out with his friends, just to keep his brother company at home - he is making a sacrifice.

When a mother makes the choice of quitting her job, in order to care for her four young children - she is making a sacrifice.

When a father decides to decline a promotion which entails him an upheaval in remuneration, so that he can remain close to his family - he is making a sacrifice.

Quoted from his blog, http://jepsloci.blogspot.com/.

Reading this really calm my heart. Because this is one of the sacrifice that I've made for my family. I think it is worth it. In my heart I quietly pray asking for God to guide me and strengthen my heart for this new life. Maybe, in few more years or maybe months, I can buy my wife tanzanite rings.That can be a good thing.

Condolence to Mas Jaffri Masarudin and his family for their brother/son, Dr Mas Afzal passing. I'm also devastated when I heard the news. Even though your brother and me are not so close, but I always remember him when I do my running or jogging. I still remember vividly when I'm still in La Salle, Kota Kinabalu, while in the rugby team, when my time of training coincidentally with your brother training, he will run beside me. When he stop for rest and I'm still running, soon after he joined back, he will ask me if I don't feel tired running 20 laps. May god Bless his soul.

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Not in the mood...

Didn't know things can be like this today. A simple question can turn into a disaster. That is what happen when people are not really mean to their words. What come out from their mouth are not the same what they feel in their heart.

Making me wonder what really they wanted. Every time something like this happen, I always think that every decision that I've made in my life got to do something with this kind of disaster. Wrong move, bad mistake, usually influence by them. That is why as I always said to others, I'm the black sheep in the family.

But in reality, we are just imitating them. Just like scanner software, I can tell three of us here are just imitating them. I just hate when they wanted the very best from you but will go to the extreme by making you feel guilty by then.But please don't challenge me in exchanging words that can make your heart broken. I'm too good in that.

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My weight is like a yo-yo...

That is what happen to you if you are not so serious about getting leaner. I think I need weight loss affiliate program that force me to run 10 KM each day and swim 5 KM everyday! Last week, the scale is at 81.9 KG, and yesterday it was at 82.9 KG. That is 1 KG difference!

But my running distance are still at a the last record. 4.3 KM in 30 minutes. Lucky I may say because I can feel the difference between running regularly and running occasionally. And truly, I need to change my running shoe. The newly bought still in the box, wrap nicely in the plastic. Gonna wait until the old shoe breath it's breath.

M.u.s.t e.x.e.r.c.i.s.e r.e.g.u.l.a.r.l.y!

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Creating a new website?

Have you ever thinking about getting a blog like others or maybe thinking about getting started to do online business but only feel let down because you didn't know how to do it?

Fret not because now, someone has shown me a way to do it easier. Introducing you a website creator, WebDeva website, where you can do anything to your newly design website.They will assist you from beginning to the end. And what more, they also provide e-Commerce tools for you too! A great way to start a new online business.

You also can make a new blog, forum and many many more. They also provide Facebook, Twitter and Google integration for your blog. Hmm... what an easy way for me to create a new blog next time. Go visit them for a look at www.web-deva.com.

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Christmas is near!

In 15 days, Christmas will be here. But it is going to be different this year. Why, because I've tendered my resignation today. And I will be facing unemployment for quite sometimes. Maybe, I will be handling art prints in the future. If only somebody wanted to hire me.

Next week it is gonna be a free week for me, if I'm not being called by them to resume work until the last day. I will be spending my time with my family. Maybe go for a swim at Likas Sport Complex, cutting grass at my house, going family visits or much more.

Feels a bit melancholy, but I need to endure that. Well, times change people. So do I. Only if the fella didn't say about it during the meetings. Only if the other guy didn't big mouthed to us. Maybe, that is how life is.

Bring it on 2011. Opening a new chapter next year.

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Ending a chapter in my life

A great undertaking today. Feels like heavy heart but have to do it anyway. For family. For Sean. Unless there is anything change. But I doubt that.

Well as I always said, something has to change in order to change your life. Sometimes you have to do the difficult decision in your life. But life is always evolve in decision. Make a wrong decision is part of the learning lesson. But sometimes it is worth it. Making the right decision make it worthwhile.

Lots of things I've learn here. Lots of friends, foes and strangers I've met. The memories will always be in me. The hardship, the suffering and all the time I've spend.

Soon I'll be leaving all my tools and trades. Gonna missed the flexible life. The traveling adventure and all. Will be picking up cutting tools as a new skills in near future. Gonna be a handy man. Or man under the sun, rain and wind. I swear I'm gonna be black next year.

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At the brink of insanity

This is my current state of mind. Confused. Dazed. Dilemma. In choosing a new path of life. I'm not afraid of changes. Only fear for the wrong step in choosing them. It is because if I choose the wrong one, I'm not the only one who will be suffered.

As now, I already undertake an impossible thing. Getting ready for the 'leap of faith'. Will I go wrong this time? Should I wait for the one been offered last May? But what if it is only a decoy? Or empty promises? What about the things that already in my hand? What if they called last minute? What if my name will be on the list while I can't get out from the place? What if, what if... too many things in my mind. That's why I said, I'm in the brink of insanity.

Puffs of cigars won't clear my mind. As there is a lot of things to be done. Should I take this? Should I take that? Should I wait? Should I just stay? Staying means I will face the music that I heard over and over again that I wanted to puke all the hatred in their face. Going means I will only get less and the load will be more.

Only if they can change, only if they realized it earlier, only if they want me to stay... but that would be impossible. They don't know a thing. Because they only depends on us to get things done. And complaint when there is none. Because there is none to be done. Just because we are the lower class, we can't do everything that the upper class can. We are restricted to that.

But something have to be change in order for me to change. But that something might make me an insane person.

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Will it goes well?

Went to the place after being recommended by my friend. I can tell you that he is lovable person there because he is the tallest person ever work there. I think he do ever use hgh supplement and that is why he is tall!

Everything went smooth but I think I've unintentionally twisted some fact about them but from their face, I can see they will give me some break. Who doesn't do that during the eyes meet eyes time right?

Not yet call back the other one but will do when I finally topup my air time credit. Way different than what I've expected. Just pray that I don't nuked up my opportunity this time.

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Dilemma or in limbo?

Recently, I've watch this movie called "Inception" where you can retrieved important data or plant an idea that can or may change people in decision making or their life in their dream. And there is a term that they called it "in a limbo" where you can't get up from your dream and think that your real life is actually a dream.

And yet today, I'm in a dilemma because I've been offered something that can change my life, my family life but in the same time, someone else are bringing other option for me. Tell you the truth, I can't make any decision for the time being. One life changing will required me to be fit and strong while being in the place that can be quite stressing full with loud noise. The other one just simple in a cool air place and flying can be a lifestyle. I just put flying there since the news bringer told me that could be another perk for the life changing place.

Fit and strong but with terms and condition attached. I kinda like this challenge. Kinda make me wanna have some fat burner reviews to accelerate my body transformation. But I love flying the most. Flying like you are taking a bus. The hustle and bustle in the airport makes me happy. Ahhh damn, both are almost the same.

Another eyes meeting and details changing will be done again in less than 24 hours. Just hope this cool air place can beat the noisy place moolah.

Because I have to do it for the family.

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