Top priority...

I'm just get fooled by a hard disk thinking that my whole computer has been infected by an unknown virus.

And the real problem actually came from the faulty hard disk. It is a 500GB hard disk that I recently bought. To add salt to the injury, I bought it without warranty since it is cheaper.

That is the risk that I'm willing to take but not this soon. And again, I just reformat the whole computer thinking that the dvd writer also affected only to find that the dvd writer already kaput. It is only less than a year when I bought it. Yet again, I lost the receipt, so no warranty claim for me.

Double blow and I need money now. I think I need insurance lead generation just in case I might become mentally unstable and committed suicide.

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Yes you read me right. So if you missed the crawling little giuk(maggots :P), click the link here.

For the time being, I'm not in the mood of posting something useful for you out there. And I'm frustrated. I need money to go to Miri but the person that suppose to pay her debt couldn't do that in time. And this really disappointing me.

Really disappointing to the point that I think I need to sell my *sigh* guitar. My precious guitar.

Hope that I will not depressed and eat too much. I just don't want to turn to another best diet pills again.

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My medical checkups....

Tomorrow is my first medical check up. Feeling giddy and anxious because, as I said, my first.

But this one kinda first step for me to get out from my current life. Life that I know has been good but not enough. But I have to leave my family behind. The real reason why I go for this I will mention it when I really confirm to get the final result.

So much hope has been pour up into it, hoping that our life will be change. This might be the one that I've been thinking about since before finishing my school era. Who knows that I might get a gift (maybe with a gift cards) that me and my family will be proud of.

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I've gain weight again. Blame it to my super outstation dinner. I need to get back to the weight that I have before this. If not, my suit won't fit me. Or else, my medical checkups will fail. Or maybe it should be okay.

But now I need to eat. I'm hungry. I think I need strong most effective appetite suppressant so that I won't eat much.

I think I should hit the gym now. NO! Have to attend the meeting tonight. Arghhhhh!!!!!

I should be home now. But I still stuck in the office.

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I'm tired and I need to sleep...

I just arrived from Lahad Datu and man, it is really a long and winding road for me. It's like hell driving for 7 hour only stopping for a while to eat.

When I looked at my face on the mirror, I can say that it is not me that I saw, but a big fat Panda. An awesome FAT PANDA! Damn, I gain weight again. I didn't have any time to go to gym anymore and I have to be honest, I drink beer every night when I'm out station. The only "sleeping pill" that doesn't have any side effect except gain weight.

Wish I could have more time to rest but I can foresee my next two weeks will be f***king busy. Hope that I can get fat pay check this month. The sale might be the savior now! :P

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Give me one reason

Well, he can't give me any reason but he always ask me to wait. Wait until the last minutes.

My friend and I should be going to Sandakan by tomorrow morning or noon but the big B with two 's' at the behind always give us the magic word he always repeat since the first day that I know him "See how!".

The big joke is, he appear to have tons of money but in reality, he ain't got nothing. One who go the money is the one we called the big double B.

He called himself a business man but please don't give him a business hotels if he went outstation. Just because he doesn't deserve it.

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I'm feeling bluer than blue....

This feeling has struck me twice. Last one March 2008. Now, around mid March. Again, this kind of feeling that I'm having now is destructive. Lost of motivation to work, feeling kinda hopeless, can't properly planned anything, suicidal. The last one was too obvious.

I don't know how did I get this sad feeling. Can it be caused by be stressed with workload? Personal problems? High expectation? Wanted to change profession? Or maybe I'm going insane?

Or maybe I should hang out with my friends more often. Or maybe I need a long break/holiday? Should do something that are more relaxing? But how?

I don't want to ease this freaky feeling with alcohol, but that is one of the things that lingers around my mind now. Even Dansko professional can't help me.

Just pray for me that I won't do anything stupid.

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