English to German soon?

The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the 1st year,

... "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

In the 2nd year,

... there will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year,

... publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer,

... people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer,

... ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav
a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer,

... ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

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bengodomon said...

There is no ONE official language of the EU. In fact, there are 23, including both German and English. Full list:
* Bulgarian
* Czech
* Danish
* Dutch
* English
* Estonian
* Finnish
* French
* German
* Greek
* Hungarian
* Irish
* Italian
* Latvian
* Lithuanian
* Maltese
* Polish
* Portuguese
* Romanian
* Slovak
* Slovenian
* Spanish
* Swedish

LeeJB said...

:) This is just a joke... I' pretty sure there won't be just ONE official languages of the EU.

Zainijimmy said...

koh koh...the 3rd year likely to our very 'sabahan-glish'

cindy said...

Yez, zis hav mad me smil.


PS: Ala.. Ben.. don't take it too serious lar. Joke only ma. :P